Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Hellblazer by Garth Ennis issue #54

Wait, hold the fucking Satanic bible for a sec, is this really John Constantine I'm reading?  The man has been so helpful since this arc began. He actually gives a damn about people in this story even if said people are worthless pieces of shit who deserve what's coming to them, in my own brutally honest opinion. I think this positive change of attitude may have something to do with the fact that John has thankfully also cut back the self-loathing and self-harming habits for once, and is now focused on doing his job sans personal baggage dragging him now. And it's obviously because he's in a healthy relationship with a woman who actually understands where he comes from and how damaged he is. I like this John Constantine. He's personable and sharper than ever. 

Continuing with the second to the last installment or the Royal Blood arc, John invites us for some drink as he tells us a story about the Jack the Ripper; only this version of the tale is grittier and much more unsettling than the public accounts released by the media. Apparently it all started with yet another royal jerk-off who got it on with a prostitute. This jerk-off happens to be one of the grandsons of Queen Victoria herself, if you can believe it. She was displeased about this proclivity and so had the entire affair covered up with the help of a doctor named Sir William Gull who lobotomized said whore so she won't reveal the dirty and then they confined her in a loony bin. Her other prostitute friends tried to blackmail the government about this secret so some Freemasons got together for the ultimate circle jerk and summoned a demon, as most sane people ought to do. They then bound this demon to Gull because he was such a candy-ass and they needed someone with balls to kill, and this demon got that job done and compelled Gull to become the Ripper and slash and hack whores all across London. Because, Victorian era.

Now this sounds an awful lot like a mouthful of mere conspiracy theory, I know, but John knows what he's talking about. After all, he got this story from a necrophilic senior Freemasoner whom John caught sexing up a corpse one time. He had pictures of said class act. With that trustworthy resource, John's psychic friend insisted that they reveal this to the British public but John outright refuses. He only cares about stopping the demon Calibraxis from murdering people, especially when he just had the royal prick he possessed freaking bite a chunk of a child's face last time they checked. Some confrontations occur with John being back in Caligula to talk to Marston about how to find Calibraxis and the unfortunate sod he possessed. Oh, and we also just read that Marston totes is gonna have John killed once he solved the case because he's an ungrateful bastard. Kill John Constantine? Like that's ever gonna happen.

Calibraxis, however, decided to crash the Caligula Club with some handy and old-fashioned cannibalism so he can confront Constantine for himself. He doesn't care that killing John would mean raging a war in hell since three hell-lords have a legitimate claim on John's soul after that whole Dangerous Habits ordeal went down last time. And then the issue ends in a cliffhanger where he jumped John and the land on the floor. He apparently was biting John by the shoulder while this happened. I am definitely gonna read the next issue to see what happens next, but right after I post this review.


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